Applying to College as a Queer Student
Applying to college is, arguably, harder now than it ever has been. Add the stress of applying to college as a queer teen, and you’ve got the makings of a truly difficult process. Whether you are a queer teen yourself, a parent, or a counselor, this guide will help you understand some of the factors that go into the application process for this population of students.
Applying to College as a Queer Student
I came out as transgender when I was in early high school, although I had come out as broadly queer much earlier. I was in high school in central Texas – luckily at a socially liberal magnet school in the safe haven of Austin, but still Texas nonetheless. Because of the often-changing state laws regarding medical and legal transitions in Texas, I found myself desperately wishing for a different kind of life. And because I was nearing the end of high school, I could begin to see the many possibilities for my future: leaving home, finding a new community, and really growing into myself in a place that felt safe.
Whether you’re in an environment that is supportive of your queer identity or an environment that is hostile, college can be a way to branch out – a way to find your people and truly feel connected to your community in a new way.
Why College?
Surprisingly, building the college list is actually not the first step in this process. First, you must figure out why you want to go to college to begin with. In the current economic and political climate, it can feel necessary to get a Bachelor’s degree, but higher education isn’t for everyone and it certainly isn’t a one-size-fits-all industry.
Thinking internally, to your values and passions and deep-seated needs, why is college a part of your life plan? What will that experience do for you, academically, socially, and personally? What will it allow you to do in the future? How will it prepare you to meet your future goals?
For me, this meant thinking deeply about whether or not college was even the right choice for me. I knew that I loved writing, but I also didn’t particularly want to pursue a career in it, for fear that I’d learn to hate it eventually. After some seriously deep thought (I’m talking at least two months of reflecting, journaling, conversing with family and friends, and doing college research), I finally settled on a goal for the next four years that I felt really good about: to write as much as possible.
College seemed like the most logical option, since it would give me four years of time and space to hone my craft, and it would be a perfect middle ground between living at home with my parents and living fully on my own as an adult; on a college campus, you have all the resources and safety nets of living in community with others, with (most of) the independence and agency of adult life. But for what it’s worth, there was a period of time wherein I decided I wasn’t going to attend college at all, and that was a necessary part of this process for me.
Building Your List
Once I had decided to give college a try, I had to figure out which schools I was interested in. Thinking ahead to the college experience I wanted, I knew that queer-friendliness would be a huge part of my search – but it wasn’t the whole story. I also wanted a small school, in a rural area (ideally in a cooler climate than Texas), that offered a great creative writing curriculum. As you start to build your list, it’s helpful to first figure out which factors you actually care the most about; i.e. if living in a cold climate is a deal-breaker for you, then location may need to be your deciding factor.
For some students, queer-friendliness is the number one most important factor in this search. The Campus Pride Index (CPI) is a great database of queer-friendly schools, with ratings for various on-campus resources; you can either start here and then do further research on these schools, or start with a list of schools with locations/academic offerings you like and then see how they’re rated on the CPI. For trans students, another fantastic resource is this list of colleges and universities whose student health insurance plans cover transition-related costs, as well as this more comprehensive database of trans-supportive campus policies.
Given the quickly-changing federal laws regarding trans care in this country, another helpful step is to look for official public statements from colleges about whether or not they’ll uphold discriminatory laws; some schools have already issued statements of support, stating that they will not be adhering to new federal restrictions on gender markers.
You’ll also want to think about the kind of social experience you hope to gain from a campus environment – do you want to remain anonymous and blend into the fabric of a large student body, or do you want to be at a small school where you’re surrounded by other queer students who you know by name? Small, liberal arts schools tend to be more supportive for queer students, but that is not an across-the-board rule; either way, it’s helpful to spend some time reaching out to current students at the schools you’re interested in, to get a better sense of the actual safety and comfort you’d find on those campuses.
Should I come out in my essays?
The short answer: it’s up to you!
The long answer: there are plenty of valid reasons for coming out in your essays, and there are also plenty of valid reasons not to. When I was writing my essays, I was smack in the middle of my transition, and it was taking up a massive part of my mental bandwidth. I had also just done a massive fundraiser to pay for my own surgery, so I thought that telling that story would make for a great Common App personal statement – and it did! But looking back, I realize that it wasn’t just my personal statement that focused on my transition: almost every single supplemental essay I wrote was also about my queerness, and I have to assume that my recommendation letters mentioned it as well. That meant that my application probably read as fairly one-dimensional: my (many, many) other identities and interests were hidden behind my queerness.
With that in mind, my advice for coming out in your essays is this: if you do choose to write about queerness, make sure that it’s not the only part of yourself you write about. Your queerness is not your whole story, and the people reading your application will appreciate getting a real glimpse into the nuances of your life.
The Research Never Stops
Once application decisions are released, many students will have more than one acceptance, and they’ll have to choose which school they’re actually going to attend. Hopefully you will have a clear “top choice” school by this point, but you won’t actually know what it’s like to be a student at these schools until you’re enrolled! Whether you have a clear choice or a difficult decision to make, this is the part of the process where you get to start finding your people.
Many schools are partnered with social apps like ZeeMee, a social media space for prospective students to find community together. Find those spaces (if you’re struggling, reach out to your admissions counselor – they’ll point you in the right direction!), and start chatting with the other prospective students you find there: this is where you’ll get a real sense of the kinds of friends you might make at each school. If you plan to visit campus for an Accepted Students’ Day or another admissions event, those events can be extra fun with new friends – invite some other prospective students to join you for dinner after an Accepted Students’ Day, or invite them to check out the queer resources on campus with you!
Once you’ve made your decision and enrolled at your top choice school, you might think the research process is over – but you now have four years to explore this new space and grow alongside your new peers. No matter where your trajectory takes you after that, I have no doubts that you’ll be prepared to create the supportive, celebratory community that you’ve always deserved.
